Abusive Relationships - Should You Stay Or Leave?

Abusive relationships destroy the marriage bond. In fact, physical abuse in relationships negates love. Should you pack up the relationship or endure?

That is often the dilemma of women in abusive relationships.

The question comes again. Should they leave their husbands?

Marriage is for the long haul. When you married your husband you made a commitment to be with him through good and bad times. This period of aggressive animalistic behavior is a bad time for your husband.

Don't get me wrong.

There is no reason, no matter how genuine, why a man should beat his wife. If a wife makes a mistake, that is not sufficient reason to beat her up. Come to think of it, does a man tell his wife to beat him up when he makes a mistake?

Obviously no. So, why beat your wife when she does not measure up in one area or another? Men are just as imperfect as women. If your wife makes a mistake or errs in some way, train her, educate her.

Do not, I repeat, do not lay a hand against your wife. No reason on earth can justify beating your wife.

As I was saying . . .

Physical abuse in abusive relationships can lead to permanent disability of the wife, even death. Stories of bitterly angry men shooting or strangling their wives liter the pages of history.

Understandable, you do not want to be another wife murder statistics.

What can you do?

Leaving your husband should be a last resort.

If you are a victim of physical abuse by your husband . . . if abusive relationships correctly describe your marriage . . . your first line of action is to help your husband get over his abusive behavior.

Remember you are his wife and you love him very much.

You vowed to stay with him. You vowed to protect him.

Right now your man is in trouble. Unbridled anger, the kind your husband now has, eventually leads to trouble. So help him.

Communicate with him. Talk to him. Try and reach his heart. Find out why he has suddenly changed you to a punching bag. He may or may not listen to you.

If he listens to you and turns around, you've won a major battle for your love and marriage. If he doesn't, get outside help.

Talk to his close friends. Talk to his parents. Get professional help.

Hopefully you may be able to get to the root of the problem and get him to change his behavior.

Suppose he doesn't change?

You have to decide whether to leave him or not.

Abusive relationships make life unbearable.

After exhausting all avenues to help him and he refuses to be help, you may have to leave him temporarily. This gives him some time and breathing space to re-evaluate his life and attitude.

But this is entirely up to you.

You know your life is at stake here.

Sometime ago, I watched a talk show on TV where a young woman told her sad story of how her boy friend shot her in the head at point-blank range.

Before this happened, he had beat her up repeatedly.

She reported that she told her mother about the physical abuse she was undergoing When her mother came to live with them. The mother advised her to leave him, but she refused.

One afternoon, he came into the apartment with the girl and her mother in the sitting room. He accused her of having an affair and that there was a man in the house. Mother and daughter assured him there was no man in the house but he wouldn't listen.

He reached for his gun in a drawer and demanded she produce the man. Nothing they said could stop him. Within a couple of minutes he shot the mother dead and shot the girl directly on her head through her nose.

The bullet blew her nose off and left a gaping hole where use to be her nose and upper gum. Happily she survived to tell her story after two years of miserable existence and multiple surgery.

Her ordeal isn't over yet. She still has to go for a series of facial surgery to fix her face.

The young woman testified against her former boy friend when the court case came up. This landed him forty years prison sentence.

Now you understand why I said physical abuse by your husband against you will eventually get him into trouble.

Abusive relationships is a sign that your husband is under duress and out of sync with reality. Help him as much as possible.

But if you have to leave for a while for safety reasons, don't be afraid to.

You husbands in abusive relationships . . . you husbands who take pleasure in hurting your wives . . . please stop.

Your action does not make your wife happy. Your actions ruin the bond of marriage with your wife and destroys the love between you.

Your physical abuse of your wife makes God unhappy.

Please stop. Stop, stop.

Your wife deserves better. Give her all the love you can muster.

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