Breakup: Well it's NOT Vicodin and sleep!!

by Tammy
(New York)

VICODIN AND SLEEP. was my "BRIGHT IDEA" It was going to help me. But, OF COURSE, it just made it worse! that is NOT a survival tip girls! Just a catchy Title for this blog!!

I sit here.(MINUS THE VICODIN (dont worry) , but!, still no sleep) my heart is breaking into a MILLION pieces and I feel useless, I cant explain the hurt.

He said he loved me :(He STILL says he loves me...but then again, he loves ALL his women...yes, many MANY other women.

I was the one who had to leave. I sit here and wonder if this was a mistake. I wonder if this is what life has come to, I wonder WHY @ 41 years old that I have to even DEAL with this kind of heartache. I feel like a child!

I feel like a stupid little high school CHILD yearning for something that I cant have!! it's gross, I HATE the way i feel. I HATE the way that i'm beating myself up for this! I HATE the fact that he is out wonderng around the world (literally) doing the same things to all these other women like he's done to me.

The LIES! The deceit!!

i have no survival tips, i'm at the point of giving up on everything, I have no energy, I have nothing to go on...NOBODY TO TALK TO!!...

POOF! he's just G O N E! :( :( :( I feel like i'm going to die of a broken heart.

I feel LOST, CONFUSED, SAD, USELESS, UNLOVED, the list goes on and on...and yet? i was there for him every step of the way, through ALL the drama..through all the BS..i was there....

why do i feel like the bad guy?