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Did He ever Love Me?

Did he ever love me? Is this possible?!

PLEASE HELP!!! I REALLY NEED SOME ADVICE!!!

I am so sorry but this might take me ages to explain...PLEASE HELP!!!

hi, i really need some advice....

It's just when I was in primary school I fell in love with a boy called S_.

It's just when I met S_ in primary school i grew more and more fond of him until i knew I was in love with him.

However I wasn't sure whether he actually LOVED me or not although there were times when I felt like he did.

It's just that in his final year of primary (he was a year younger than me you see) whilst I was at high school. My sister was then at his school and she told me that he said to someone 'I'm not going to some rubbish school like 'name of school' Community High school'.

Now if he'd have LOVED me would't he have been more upset about not going to my school??

I am just VERY confused.

Also I found out from a source (it would take me too long to explain how I found this out) that he had said to his friends (after I had sent him countless Valentine's cards) that S_ had said (about me) in a not particularly nice voice by the way she said it (that's if she was telling the truth) 'there's this girl who REALLY fancies me'.

But then I also found out that he had apparently turned down an invitation to go out with another girl because he had said he liked. (also i heard he had gone around saying that i was really clever!!!

By the way this is one comment which makes me think that he wouldn't fancy me when he knows about me getting no GCSEs).

But if he'd have LOVED me would he have said something like 'there's this girl that REALLY fancies me' and ''I'm not going to some rubbish school.........'??? which i didn't think were very nice things to say.

I can't tell...and would appreciate an outside opinion. Do you think he LOVED me (like I loved him) or do you think he just fancied me. The only way to have found out was to ask him.

It's just I really would appreciate your opinion on this (I just need an honest answer no matter what that may be)

Do you think he LOVED me or not...or only fancied me???

If he loved me then why would he have chosen to go to the private school rather than my school?? Or would the only way to tell be to ask him. (which I can't possibly do)

It's just I loved him. can you offer me any advice on this...as I really cannot sort my head out...and cannot work it out.

Is it possible?

He was very mature for his age...his voice broke near the very end of primary school. He was very very clever for his age too.....well above average ...so above average in fact that he later won a busury to get into a private school (supposedly one of the top educational institutions in the world)

Just for reference this below is simply a record of the whole situation I have included it because without it you might not understand the above question.

My Problem is this:

When I was in primary school I fell in love with someone called S_

But then when it came to high school, he got sent to a private all boy's school far away and I got sent to the local comprehensive.

I thought I'd NEVER see him EVER again and despaired.

Around about the same time my Grandmother of whom I was VERY close to died. She practically raised me. My mother never seemed to bother with me. However I never noticed this neglect (by my mother) until my Grandma died.

I noticed that I was very unsupported by my mother and in general uncared for. Sometimes she was also emotionally abusive towards me--sometimes she could be so nasty she'd make me cry.

Because of all these things (the death of my Grandma and also the uncaring attituse at home) I began to feel very depressed.

Then I made a TERRIBLE mistake:

Somedays I felt so low I found it almost impossible to think about the future and sometimes couldn't find the will-power to get up in the mornings.

I started to refuse to go to school as I felt so low. I'd been bullied VERY VERY badly at the primary school i went to (before I moved to the one my sister was at)which also made me quite nervous of people and scared of school too.

However I received no help, no counselling or anything(do you think this was neglect?)

I refused to go to High school on-and-off for the first three years by which time I was REALLY REALLY very behind in my work.I then refused to go to school altoghether as I couldn't cope any more with my life.

I was SEVERELY depressed and wasn't thinking logically. I ended up having 5 measly hours of home tuition per week, for the next two years which should have been spent in school.

Unsurprisingly I then failed all my GCSEs (apart from one, where I got a 'C' in English) I felt so depressed. I then have stayed at home doing nothing for the past two years as I have felt too embarrassed to face the world.

However this is my problem:

I am now 18. I realise now that I HAVE to do something with my life ...no matter how hard this may be: ( i.e. go to college

I now want??/need to go to college.

However I have just found out that the college I wanted to attend is right next door to the top educational sixth form which S_ goes to.

If I go there then I will definately bump into him?

But the thing is he will NEVER EVER be interested in me now (even if he used to be when I was ok).

How on earth can I explain to him WHY I refused to go to school? He's going to think I am a bad person.

But the thing is he's studyiwng 'A' levels at a top sixth form college. And I .....will probably have to go on an Entry level course and learn really basic stuff like how to cook, use public transport etc (basically for absolute dim-wits)

He'll NEVER EVER be interested in me now. He's in a different league to me. He's so clever.but this is killing me. I wish I could be with him more than anything in the world but as soon as he finds out that's it....my dream...dead......finished

Also even if I go to a different college, it's inevitable that i'll bump into him whilst out and about anyway. (I just can't believe that I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THIS years ago?.i just wasn't thinking properly)

But If I ignore him then he'll think I'm not interested i him, when I am. But if I talk to him he'll not like me anyway when he finds out what I've done. He'll think I'm a terrible person.

The thing is (and I really need your help on this) HOW ON EARTH DO I EXPLAIN TO HIM ABOUT HOW I REFUSED TO GO TO SCHOOL--AND WORST OF ALL WHY? HE'LL NOT THINK VERY WELL OF ME ONCE I'VE TOLD HIM.

I'M not going to lie. I need him to know the truth.

My other problem is that when I refused to go to school-- so did my sister(only she didn't have a valid reason) she simply wouldn't go just because I was off school and didn't see why she should go either.

HOW ON EARTH CAN I EXPLAIN TO HIM HOW MY SISTER IS NOW IN THE SAME SITUATION I'M IN? HE'LL THINK MY FAMILY ARE AWFUL.

I AM 18 YEARS old now btw...and am getting severely worried about my future.

. ....HELP ME PLEASE!!!

wHAT CAN i DO? I think I'll die of pain if I lose him.

I love him and I can't believe the awful situation that I've got myself into. What should I do??????? HELP!!! I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!!

THIS IS THE END OF EXPLAINING THE WHOLE SITUATION

Do you think S_ ever loved me or just fancied me???

PLEASE HELP ME!!! PLEASE COULD YOU REPLY!!!

I AM REALLY NOT UNDERSTANDING HIM!!!

Can you offer me any advice?? Did he love me?? Do boys love girls in a different sort of way to what girls love boys?? Or did he simply not love me??

His comments are confusing.PLEASE HELP!!!!! Did he love me.......or not...? This is really important to me. PLEASE be honest!!!!!!!

Yours sincerely

p.s. Is advice free? :( please don't reply if it isn't as I'm sorry but I cannot afford to pay.

PLEASE HELP ME!!! YOU ARE MY ONLY HOPE!!!!!!!!!

My Reply

Hi.

The first thing you need to do RIGHT NOW is to STOP.

Stop panicking

Stop living for someone else

Stop killing yourself over what someone will think of you because you dropped out of school

Stop believing you will die if he doesn't love you

Stop the self pity

Stop worrying about the past

Start believing in yourself.

Did he ever love you?

I can't say for sure.

However, from what you said above, he may just have fancied you . . . at least you said someone heard him say so.

Look at the facts of the case.

You sent him a bunch of Valentine cards some years back. Obviously, he didn't reciprocate

He said he fancied you . . . he didn't say he loved you (Alternatively, he may have used the word fancied interchangeably with love. If that is true, he meant he loved you not fancy you)

After primary school, he lost contact. He didn't bother searching for you.

(Actually, he may have searched for you but you probably didn't provide him a way to contact you . . . just a possibility)

There are so many possibilities here.

Bottom line.

He may have loved you or fancied you. There's no way I can tell.

The first step on the road to ascertaining if a man loves you is to ask him. Thereafter, observe his behavior/attitude toward you. If he loves you, he will go the extra mile.

Your man fails on both count.

The truth is . . . you're chasing a childhood dream - a dream your man most likely doesn't share.

If you love him as much as you say . . . then tell him so.

You say you can't tell him. Why can't you?

Okay. You said you dropped out of school. What's criminal about that?

School is great. It's wonderful to go through school without problems and as a straight 'A' student.

But then, not everyone will go through school without problems. Some will drop out of school for valid reasons, others for trivial reasons.

Whatever the case, don't throw away your self-esteem and dignity because you're a school dropout.

By the way, people drop out of school daily. The problem is not that you dropped out of school. The real problem is how you feel about yourself.

You worry that he will not love you again.

But ask yourself . . . do you love yourself? Are you confident of yourself? Are you proud of whom you are? Or do you hide yourself in shame?

From this very moment, be determined to . . .

Raise your shoulder up high

Appreciate and cherish your God-given honor and dignity

Look yourself in the face (in front of a mirror, maybe) and say to yourself, "I want to excel. I can excel. I will excel."

Go back to school and start wherever you have to start (even elementary class if you have to) and

Tell your friends about your new start

Ask for help along the way without feeling depressed or that you wasted your life

In life, it's not about who started the race first, it's about who gets to the finish line. Only he that gets to the finish line wins.

You're just 18. Your whole life lies ahead of you. Opportunities abound.

It's not too late to learn . . . it's never too late to learn. If you're ready to learn right now, you will learn and even surpass those currently ahead of you.

It takes determination, resilience, and commitment.

About your boyfriend (?) and whether he will want to associate with you now that he's in a higher class and a better school.

You must appreciate that birds of same feather flock together. If he's a self-conscious person who is passionate about class, he wouldn't want to have a love relationship with you. You're no longer in his class.

But you can still be great friends if he deserves to be your friend and if he's not too arrogant to associate with someone in a lower class.

What if he refuses to be your friend?

Don't kill yourself. Just move on.

He has moved on. You need to move on too.

You can't change time. A lot of time have passed between you . . . a lot of things have changed. You are no longer the innocent kids you were when you first met.

You still have memories of the relationship. You never know, he may have discarded his. That is, if the memories were there in the first place.

However, before you close the door on your feelings, arrange a meeting with him. Offer to buy him a drink or something. Meet and talk freely.

Ask him what he has been doing with his life. When he's through, tell him what you've done with yours and the tragedy of your situation.

Watch his reaction. Is he concerned? Does he want to help? Or does he feel he shouldn't have anything to do with you again?

At this point, don't worry whether he loves you or not. Worry about whether he wants to be your friend or not.

Really . . . there's no basis for love if there's no friendship. The greatest love, is the greatest friendship.

If he agrees to be your friend, eventually you can develop that to something greater . . . love.

What if he rejects you?

Don't kill yourself. Don't commit suicide.

You seem to me like a girl with a good heart. And people with a heart full of love and goodness get a pleasant reward when they least expect it.

If he refuses to love you, he doesn't deserve you. A better man is on his way.

Your focus right now should be to develop yourself and become an asset. Make yourself so valuable that you're virtually indispensable.

My heart goes out to you.

Be assured you can have a great life. Some of the wealthiest and most influential men today were school dropouts.

Back to your question . . . did he ever love you?

Only he can tell you that.

My advice?

Stay focused and undeterred and you will win.

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