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Dirty Little Secret

You have a dirty little secret. It's just a little secret - or so you think. But your man must not know.

You don't want your man to know about this dirty little secret because you fear he could end the relationship if he finds out. And this will break your heart.

But is this realistic?

Think about this.

When is it better for him to find out? Before you get married or after the marriage when you're two kids up?

Let's look at the two scenarios.

If he finds out before you get married he could leave or he could stay. If he decides to leave, you will miss him. It could break your heart.

But then, you're still your young self with no responsibilities to bug you down. You can always find someone else. Someone who will accept you as you are. And perhaps even faster than you think.

Suppose you don't let him in on your dirty little secret before you get married.

A secret cannot be kept secret forever. And it's very likely you're not the only one on planet earth who knows about your dirty little secret. That other person who knows may decide to tell your husband about it.

Then what?

He may feel betrayed. He may feel like he does not really know the woman he married. And then, he may have an excuse for leaving you. Who knows, this may be when you're heavy with pregnancy or when you need him the most.

Honestly, it pays to build your love relationship on openness and honesty. There's nothing better.

What secrets do women keep anyway?

1. A woman may have had a relationship with a friend of the husband prior to meeting him.

2. A woman may have had an affair prior to meeting her husband

3. A woman may have had an abortion before meeting her husband. And the abortion may have destroyed her ability to get pregnant.

4. A woman may lie about her educational qualification. She may be a university dropout but tell her man she actually graduated.

5. A woman may have been promiscuous, a prostitute, or a porn star before her conversion to moral decency.

6. A woman may already have a child out of wedlock, perhaps when she was a teen.

In summary, your dirty little secret may be really dirty or not as dirty as you think.

Whatever the case, you need to marry a man who can live with your past.

If he can take your past as past and not hold you accountable or judge you by it, then he's the kind of man you should be with.

If he cannot live with your past, if he wants a saint wife without an unspeakable past, then he's not the man for you.

But how would you know if he can live with your past?

There's no way to tell except you tell him about your past.

People's level of understanding and tolerance is shaped by their education, training, and life experiences. There are people who can live with your past and make you happy.

There are people who will feel disgusted just listening to you say it. And things will never be the same again. (Not that they are saints. Dig deep and you'll find they're guilty of something too).

My advice?

Don't waste your time and emotions on someone who cannot live with your dirty little secret. You are who you are. What has happened has happened. This has happened already. You can't change the past.

You can change the future.

Your future will be a happy one if you let your man in on your dirty little secret now. That way, you end up with a man who can live with your past . . . a man who will go out of his way to make you happy whatever the odds.

Honestly, this is the kind of man you need. Don't worry about the over-righteous lot in the relationship market. The perfectionist in them will make your life miserable.

Relationship Advice Resources:

Cheating Husbands, Love Tests, Love Quiz, Girl Fight
Perfect Girl, Wife Swap, Virgin Girl, Boy Love, Accidentally in Love

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