emotionally attached to another man even though I am married to a wonderful man

by Peace Honor
(Holland)

can infactuation for a paticular person last for over 20 years?

I met a man, A, in my teens, developed an emotional feelings towards each other.

at that time, due to my religious commitment i concluded the emotion was infatuation and wrong. i didn't commit myself to him even though i had that emotional attachment, nor did i let him know of my feelings for him. he moved away to a far country.

i met another man,B, when i was older. even though i still had that feeling for A, i married man B. we shared the same faith commitment. i never had the same strong and longing emotional feeling for him yet felt safe to commit to him, knowing love will develop with time.

at mid age now, i can boast of a wonderful marriage, husband and children. husband still head over heels in love with me. he is very romantic.

up till now my love have not been able to measure up to the 'emotional feeling' i had for A. over the years the thought for A subsided but never forgotten. there was periods that i had strong desire to search for him.

i finally met him. what happened? the same emotional feeling for him came back, maybe stronger than before.

we each confessed of falling in love all over again. it was discovered that none of us ever overcame that feeing over the years, have been searching for each other and not able to develop same love for our loving spouse.

yet each boasted of successful marriage. we all had same number of children, their genders are same as well as in order of birth and years between them. strangely one of the children from both side share same birth date.

we both don't want any divorce or an affair between us, yet the frequency of communication is a worry to my spouse. i find myself missing him if i dont hear from him, so is he.

the question is is this true love or infatuation?
how do we get over it and move on without hurting our spouse or destroying our marriage?