Feelings for childhood lover

I am 18 and I have had strong feelings for this girl ever since I was at primary. It started off when in primary we were great friends and there was a really special emotion between us even at a young age.

We actually both caught each other single-handedly putting valentines cards with love messages in each others bags outside the class room in p6/7.

I actually went through a long period when I hanged about with said girl at the weekends with her and her friends which was wierd as It was rare to see in primary as we were all boyish and stuck to hanging about with ''the lads''. But I couldnt care less what anyone else thought and I really enjoyed it.

Everyone else at primary knew we both had feelings for each other whatever level it was at as it was clear to see. When we went to high school I still regularly spoke to her and we were always happy and smiling when we see each other.

In a particular class she sat beside me and all we did was talk every period, we laughed and joked and got into trouble off teacher who would try and make a fool of us for the rest of the class to see.

I had always been too embarrassed and shy to try and start a proper relationship with her but at the same time we were quite young and still am.

We hung about with completely different people at school but I was never afraid to start talking to her when I see her and she would always say hi to me and start conversations laughing and joking when we were both with our group of pals who didnt know or get on with each other or intend to.

So we went through the years of high school always smiling at each other and I know that neither of us cared what anyone else thought of us liking each other.

One of the girls in our school held her own party in a venue for people in our year to go(3rd or 4th year at this point) so I decided to go with my classmates and ended up spending all of the night kissing and dancing with my ''childhood lover'' who was with her pals as I was but we drifted off and I basically took her hand and she smiled and came.

This was the first time ever that we really started to get intimate with each other after all these years. It felt fantastic and best moment of my life was kissing said girl and different from anyone else I've ever kissed.

She said ''you arent just doing this because your drunk are you'', and I said no because I wasnt I truly love her and still do.

So we kissed all night in front of all of our peers who where looking as they didnt expect us to go together at all. We didnt care though, we kissed for long periods and she danced right up against my body really intimately and close.

It was great and I was so glad we had finally both just let ourselves go so-to-speak.

At the time or shortly after she was going out with a huge ned and did so for a small while, I still obviously fancied her but anyway she broke up with him and I decided to go for it and ask her out - online !

This only lasted a few days ! I ended up arguing with her - online !! about a really silly thing that was ridiculous when I think about it and that was that finished. We both said really nasty things to each other on a message board but I knew we both didnt mean it.

I wasnt confident when I was with her but I really did love her and I basically blew it, we have known each other since primary and I honestly feel there is something special but I dont know if she feels the same.

I have left high-school now and she has had a boyfriend for 7months but I often see her in clubs and everytime I do she always says hi, i get embarrassed because I dont know how she feels I even shaked hands with her about a month ago (I didnt want to give off the wrong impression incase her boyfriend was there) when I seen her !

Just last weekend I came into a club with majority of people the same age group as me and packed full with many people I know/my friends know she knows/her pals etc and I was 2 seconds in the door and she came up and hugged me and said ''Aw Ive not seen you in ages''.

I really do love this girl and its only now that I realise something really special could be going to waste and I dont want to regret it for the rest of my life.

I've never felt for any girl as I do for her and I really do believe we are meant to be.
I think about her every couple of days and when I do its for long periods, I get emotional and feel as if I may never see her again !

I dont know if she feels the same way and I dont know how she'll react if I tell her I love her when she has been going out with boyfriend for 6 or 7 months

HELP !!!