He Claims To Be Very Busy
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I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3yrs now. We used to always
be together but since he put up a business he has been in a low profile.
We have not met for 8 months now because he claims to be very busy.
Whenever he plans to meet me something crops up and he ends up cancelling
the meeting the last minute.
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We work in the same company and people always talk about us and he doesn't
like it and he ends up blaming me saying I discuss our relationship with people
which is not true.
He always says he loves me, always sending sms's telling me how he loves me.
But the fact that we don't meet anymore sends me bad signal.
I have told him severally that we should part our ways but he says he has not
planned for separation because he loves me.
I'm confused because he used to show me how he loves me but not anymore.
He once fell sick on depression because of stress of job, business and our
relationship. And through that he can't get a stand on because of the medicine
he was given and he told me that he can't get a hard on.
His feelings are gone but he loves me so much as he said.
I don't know if this is the cause why he has distanced himself from me or what. I'm
confused please advice.
My Reply
How busy can a man be that he cannot see a woman he loves for eight months?
Eight months!
That alone raises huge doubts as to whether he still loves you.
Love is a strong emotion. You can't be in love and people won't notice. You can't be
in love and stay away from the woman you love for eight months when she's within reach . . . when
she works in the same office as you do.
It all points to one conclusion . . . his love has grown cold.
However, you mentioned something critical. He developed
erectile dysfunction
after using some drugs that was suppose to threat a different
ailment.
Could this be the reason why he's staying away from you?
It could be.
But then we're talking love here. When you have a problem that won't go away, who
do you confide in?
You confide in someone you love. That is the power of love. When you love someone,
you tell the person something you cannot tell anyone else. This is where a love
relationship is different from a business relationship.
So, if he truly loves you, he should have shared his fears and concerns with you. This
puts a question mark on the depth of his love for you.
Having said that, you must understand that erectile problems is a cause of serious
anxiety and headache for men. Being sexually incapable sort of makes a man feel
less than a man.
So it's likely that he still loves you but is so pre-occupied with his fears that he's
embarrassed to look you in th eye or discuss it. A quick fix to that is to stay away.
If that's the case, then you must take the first step. Don't bother arranging a meeting
with him because he may cancel it as he has done several times before. Just visit him
with one big excuse in hand.
Discuss his work
Discuss your relationship
Discuss his health
Discuss his apparent impotence and it's impact on your love relationship
Discuss possible solutions
Reassure him of your love and your desire to help him recover
Perhaps your man is scared you will leave him if he can't perform sexually. Or perhaps
he's using it as an excuse to stay away.
Whatever the case, you need to ascertain the true position of things. A straight talk
with him will help you decide what he's really up to.
Then what?
Decide to stay or to leave.
The true test of a love relationship is when problems arise. Two people who are genuinely
in love stick together when problems arise. They stick together and work out a solution.
If your man refuses to make you a part of his life by sharing his problems and the path
to finding a solution with you, he has not fully given his heart to you.
What then?
Stay or leave.
How long should you wait for him to come around?
As long as your patience can stand it.
Give him time. Try and help him come around. Put in your best efforts at helping him
show you more love.
If all that fails and you run out of patience, find love somewhere else.
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