He Had Her Number. I Don't Trust Her Around Him.

There is a new girl working in my boyfriends office. I met her at a work function and she is very attractive.

I was upset to find out that he had her number so when he was in the shower i looked at her contact number in his cell phone.

He had put a sexy picture of a half naked girl to show up when she calls. If he didnt look at her "that way" why would he go through the extra effort to put that picture there?

I don't know whether to worry about this or not.

I asked him why he had her number and he said he didn't recall but it was in no way to be unfaithful and assured me that i have nothing to worry about.

They do not hang out after work so I don't understand why he would have her number. I know I shouldn't have looked in his cell phone but ever since i did i cant get this off my mind.

Should I be worried?

My Reply

He had her number . . . that's not a major issue.

Colleagues in an office usually have each other's number. It makes work easier. You can contact each other for information faster. And the networking can be socially profitable.

However, it appears as if your man has gone beyond just having her number. The sexy picture he put to show up when she calls is an indication that he is already getting attached to her.

If it's true that they don't hang out, then he's not far gone yet. You might still be able to rescue him from the claws of that 'gorgeous' woman in his office.

Start with openness . . . the key to every successful love relationship.

Then demand what's rightfully yours.

Openness . . .

On one of your visits, check his cell phone again. If the picture is still there, talk to him about it.

You could say, "Vera (the girl) is gradually stealing your heart".

He probably would say, "what do you mean?"

Then show him the picture attached to her number in his phone and say, "see the picture you put to show up when she calls".

He may get angry at you for scanning his phone. Be calm.

When he calms down, ask him: "What do I mean to you? What Am I to you?"

If he admits that he loves you and want to spend the rest of his life with you, ask him: "What does that translate to in practice?"

For the avoidance of doubt, it means you share his stuff, his life . . . and everything in-between.

In simple terms, his phone is yours and yours is his . . . two of you are one.

If he does not agree to that, then he doesn't want to be all yours, he doesn't want to spend his life with you, and two of you are not one. In that case, there's no basis for a love relationship.

If he agrees he's still 100 percent yours, then let him give you what is rightfully yours.

So . . .

Demand what's rightfully yours.

If a man truly loves you, all of his affection will be for you. Therefore demand that the picture he has attached to her number be moved to yours. You're the only woman in the whole wide world to receive his attention and affection.

Two weeks later, swap phones.

If a man does not allow you full access to what he has, he's not fully yours yet.

This is acid test for him.

Some of the things you will discover may shock you. But it's better you discover them now than later.

Bottom line.