He Loves Me And We Talk A Lot Online. But We Have Never Met

by Marie
(America)

I first met "Luke" when I was 14, and at that time we were just friends. We both liked acting and somehow we ended up doing an online radio-play together.

There was nothing really too special about it, but after that project, we started to talk more. Then when I turned 15 I found that I had developed a crush on him.

When I finally got the courage to tell him I liked him, he reacted somewhat negatively. He told me it surprised him and that he only thought of us as friends. Then he seemed like he was pushing me away, almost being mean on purpose to get me to stop liking him.

But even so he would still listen to my problems and give me advice when I needed it and he would always encourage me and would get mad at me if I ever doubted myself. But at the end of that year he told me he hoped that I wouldn`t love him as more than just a friend.

At this time he was 19, so that might have had something to do with his hesitance in accepting my feelings.

Several years later he told me this story about how he liked a girl in Middle school and she flat out rejected him and that it really got to him. He didn`t really trust girls after that.

But regardless, he never stopped talking to me and whenever I needed help, he always dropped everything to run to my rescue. We would talk on the phone and online almost all the time and long into the night about nothing in particular and about how our days went and random things that neither of us knew the origins of.

As I spent more time with him I grew to like him even more and it was mainly because he helped me out of a serious depression issue I had. I used to hate myself, but he made me see that I had no reason to. Thus between the years I was 16 and 17 I felt really grateful to him. And when I was 17 I told him I stilled loved him and he got really angry at me.

Then things got complicated.

Other girls tried to flirt with him and he even found himself tempted by an even younger girl. He seriously thought he was in love with her, and that really hurt me, but I didn`t tell him about it because I knew it would bring trouble to him. All I wanted was for him to be happy, even though I wanted him to be with me.

That is the back-story.

This year and the end of last year have really presented a change for us.

I had to leave the country for school and I didn`t have phone access and had limited internet access. Thus I didn`t talk to him for a whole 6 months.

But we sent occasional emails, but I still felt like I was bugging him because I was just his friend. But then when we finally talked after 6 months on skype, we picked up right where we left off. The same funny lines, joking, and randomness that we always had.

Then I found out that he had broken up with that younger girl, though he claims to have never made her his girlfriend. Then around February, he asked me if I wanted to be his Valentine and I agreed. This surprised me because before when I asked him to be my valentine in the previous years, he rejected me saying please choose someone else.

Then on my birthday he mailed me a book I really wanted and made sure the package was extra special and even gave me a nice card. Inside the card he wrote:

For everything you are,
For everything you give me,
For everything we represent,
This gift is for you,
Love you.

Of course this surprised me greatly because he had been so flakey about any type of tenderness.

And again we talked for hours and hours every day. I think the longest we talked was 12 hours straight. We have since thought this was a bit unhealthy and have scaled back. But I`m on a different time zone than he is and he stays up late into the morning just to talk to me.

He says he loves me now, and that I taught him what real love was and that he was sorry for being so slow in figuring out that I was always there for him when he needed me. He says I make him the happiest out of anyone he knows.

He tells me that if I ever find a better guy than him, that I should go with him.

Right now he is 23 and I am 19, and I have never met him which is very strange I know, but we have talked online and on the phone almost every day for the past 5 years. I know what he looks like because we have talked on webcam before.

I have also met his family on webcam as well and several of his friends know me too.

I am meeting him this summer in August and it will be my first time meeting him in real life. My mom is going with me and he says he`s excited to meet us both. And yes she knows who he is because she has talked with him on the phone before.

I`m extremely happy about all of this, but I want to be realistic as well.

Why has he changed his mind about me?

I was thinking that he might actually like me more than a friend, but he says that he loves me as a really close close friend. He also says that he doesn`t want to make any promises about our relationship. He says it`s because he doesn`t ever want to hurt me again like he did before.

So basically, I would like to know why his feelings have changed for me, and if anything will happen in the future.

Reply By Samson, True Love Advisor

You seemed to have had a great time online with this man. There's a big chance that you could also have a great time offline when you meet him.

However, you don't seem to know anything about him except what he has told you about himself. That is not enough to build a long-term relationship on.

You need to know his family, his friends, and whom he really is.

I suggest you take this one at a time. First, meet him one on one. It's great that you agreed to go with your mum because some 'nice' people you meet online are not nice people offline. The internet is filled with a lot of people who pretend to be what they are not.

Why has he changed his mind about you?

Maybe he now realize that you are a wonderful person or maybe he's feeling kind fo lonely after breaking up with his ex. You never can tell the real reason until you meet him and spend some time with him.

My advice?

Take things slowly. Don't rush. Get to know him offline and get to know his folks, his friends, where he works, what he does with his spare time, how he treats people, and more.

Ask your mum what married people go through and why people who use to love each other fall out of love and become sworn enemies. Then you will realize that having a wonderful relationship that last forever takes a lot of work.

Please read this love quiz at . . .

http://www.true-love-relationship-advice.com/love-quiz.html and

http://www.true-love-relationship-advice.com/true-love.html

I wish you the best.