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He Was Cheating On Me But I Have Forgiven Him

hi!

I'm a 29-year-old single woman from Southeast Asia. i am not really used to asking advice or opinion from someone i barely know. this will be the first time.

Anyway, 15 months ago, i broke up with my boyfriend because i found out that he was cheating on me. it was a very painful and devastating experience. i've already forgiven him and wanted to forget all about him but i can't.

Sometimes i even hope that we be back together because i have this weird feeling that we are destined for each other although he has another girlfriend now. But oftentimes i'm happy and contented being single and unattached.

I'm just confused if what i feel sometimes is just plain longing for companionship or true love for my ex-boyfriend.

I'll be glad if you can help me with this.

Thanks.

My Reply

Hi.

You barely know me?

Well, take a second look at my site. It has a piece of me.

Here's something for you.

http://www.true-love-relationship-advice.com/hate-it-or-love-it.html

Read this page. Pause, meditate. Think about how it affects you and your situation.

Now you know me. Next, about the question you asked.

Let's analyze the situation.

1. He cheated on you

2. You have forgiven him

3. He has another girlfriend now

4. You still love him

5. You believe you're destined for each other

It's ok to forgive. It hastens the healing process and frees your mind of undue stress. And you're able to love again.

People make mistakes. If your man's case was a case of unintentional mistake, he would repent and beg for forgiveness. Then attempt to make it up to you by keeping straight going forward. The fact that he now has a new girlfriend indicates that he's no longer interested in you contrary to what he says.

Should you pursue the relationship further? In my candid opinion, no. Why?

He is using you as a fall back position. If his current relationship turns out well, he will forget you. If things turn sour, he may come back on his knees begging you to accept him.

I'm pretty sure you don't want to be second choice. Even if he did come back, there is no guarantee that he won't stray again when a younger prettier woman cross his path.

You deserve better.

Of course, you can still love him. It's almost impossible to throw away all your emotional investments in the relationship in a jiffy. That will be asking too much. You may continue to love him. But that in itself is not proof that you were destined to be together.

We create our destiny by the choices we make. Make the right choices and your future will be bright even if your enemies believe otherwise.

Want to be happy?

Think clear.

Find a companion if you need one. Perhaps a girlfriend, an old acquaintance, or a neighbor. Just be friends. Do interesting stuff together. As you get busy you will spend less and less time thinking about him.

Finally . . .

Take interest in someone new . . . someone nice, gentle, thoughtful, considerate. Become friends. Learn as much about him as possible. Share a part of your schedule with him. Delegate some of your tough assignments to him. Let him earn his place in your busy life.

Remember, you're just friends.

It's amazing how this works. The more you let him have a share of your life, the more you establish a connection. And the more he works for you and with you, the more he gets tied to you.

And guess what?

You will fall in love again. And he will fall in love too. Or else . . .

Bottom line.

Don't stake your life on an unrealistic dream. Your life is worth much more than that.

Your man has made his choice. Move on. Find another man. Fall in love again.

Recommended reading: Cheating Husbands

Best wishes.

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