how do I choose between two men?

by sara
(Denver, CO)

there are two men. we will call them billy and bobby.

i met bobby when i was in my late teens. i was madly infatuated with him, i adored everything about him and when he left me a year and a half later i was devastated.

i moved on but we remained in touch over the next ten years. about four years ago, bobby went to prison. i wrote him letters and he wrote back. for the first time in 7 years he was chasing me again.

we created a relationship through these letters and prison visits. we planned a life together. i was estatic.

i always referred to bobby as the love of my life and here our paths were crossing again.

well, four years of writing, i met someone else. i wasnt looking, it just happened.

A friendship with a man i met turned into a relationship. this relationship grew and grew and by the time bobby got out, me and billy had been together a year.

i am torn. who do i choose?

when i am with bobby i feel electrified, we are so alike it is ridiculous. we just mesh so well.

i know all the rules.

He's been in prison, its just infatuution, blah, blah, blah but you cant fit life in a box or relationships.

there is something special and very unique between us. however he is quick to yell at me, not really predictable, ect..

Billy is like a huge teddy bear. we are not 100% alike like me and bobby but we are pretty similiar in our beliefs, values, what we want, we get along great, have the best sex. (have not done anything with bobby sexually since he was released cuz dont want to cheat on billy) and well, me and billy have a relationship built on mutual love, respect and friendship.

i just love being wrapped in his warm, comforting arms, i love hanging out with him, he is gentle, kind and understanding. but i am torn.

i am torn between a crazy kinda love full of spice and thrill and a quiet kind of love full of realistic hopes.

Really i dont know - my main question is . . .

what makes a relationship last? what qualities should you look forward to in a man? and lastly, how important is compatibility and how do you measure it?