How to Get to Know Someone on a First Date

You’ve met someone you are attracted to, your eyes met across a crowded room, and now you can think of nothing else. You spoke, you found that you like each other, and now you are heading of on your first date together. Or maybe it’s a case that you have been set up by your friends, in which case you will have a lot of nervous excitement, what do the look like, how did I get myself talked into this. For both of you it is a step into the unknown that is filled with all kinds of potential, but you don’t want to mess it up, so how can you get to know someone on a first date.

If you want to get to know someone on a first date, it is important to relax and just be yourself, which okay, is possibly easier said than done. This date is all about finding out about each other to see if there is something worth pursuing. It is worth remembering, just before your nerves get to carried away, that you both have decided to spend time with each other, you date has made a choice to be with you.

There are certain areas of discussion that you probably want to avoid as they can make people a bit excitable. Politics, religion and money. On a first date who cares about the first two. I guess it could be useful to know how solvent your date is, but maybe not on a first date, that would be just bad manners. Don’t whatever you do talk about previous relationships, this is a new date, a fresh chapter in your life waiting to be written, you are supposed to be looking forwards, not backwards.

It can also be worthwhile letting friends and family know that you are on a date, especially if you know nothing about your date. Meet in a public place. You might never have a problem, but better to be safe than sorry.

If you have a cell phone with you then make sure that you turn it off. Don’t have it on silent, don’t set it to vibrate, turn it off. If you leave your phone what are you going to do when some idiot disturbs your date by calling you. Are you going to take the call and talk to them, thereby showing your date that there are more important people in your life? Even if you turn the sound off, the temptation will still be there to check if anyone called. If you want to get to know someone on a first date then give them 100% undivided attention, when you are talking to them or they to you, look at them, don’t look around them or through them you will give the impression of being disinterested, look straight at them.

This date is for both of you to get to know each other, so don’t monopolize the conversation, and if you’re date says something then actively listen to what they say. If you want to know more about something then ask questions, if your date says something that gives you the opportunity to respond, then respond. The big danger is that your mind will drift away with your thoughts about your date, and it will look as if you are not paying attention. So keep it simple, keep the date to who you are, and try not to over complicate things.

Find out their likes and dislikes as you need to know if you are compatible with each other. Opposites might attract, but they tend not to have lasting relationships. Is your date someone you feel comfortable with, someone you could share your life with?

Smile. People always respond to smiles, it’s something instinctive within us. Smiling makes you come across as warm, affable and approachable. It’s not a word that I like using, but smiling makes people view you as a nice person, and who would you rather date, a nice person or a nasty person?

Your date is giving up their time to be with you so show them some respect. Be polite and good mannered. Courtesy cost nothing, it shows you to be a decent, thoughtful, careful person. As you don’t know what this date could lead to, do your best to create a good impression, but always remember to not try not to be someone you are not. If you are having a bad date and you’ve nothing whatsoever in common, then make some excuse to leave.

How to get to know someone on a first date is to take it slowly. Make sure that you have some common ground, something on which you can build. If you really hit it of then you can drop ideas about the next date, such as, I’m thinking of going to this concert, would you like to come to? If you enjoy being in each others company, if you have interests that you could share, then let your date know. Tell your date that you would like the chance to get to know them better, and if they feel the same way, who knows where it could lead.

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