I Am Not Enough For Him

Hey okay so like I'm dating this awesome guy and we love each other so much but he joined a site and all this is so that he can pleasure himself.

But is it bad? Like i don't know how to react usually it's a bad reaction like why would he do this. It makes me feel like I can't pleasure him or maybe i'm not there much. So big question: should I worry about it? or just let him do what he wants?

I just feel like i am not enough for him. cuz i really dont know what it is and the sites blocked . . .sorry if i wrote too much.

My Reply

You love your man so much. Your only concern is that he joined a pornographic site so that he can pleasure himself.

First, you must understand that he didn't join this site because you're not good enough for him. People who are stuck on pornography will view nude images no matter how much their wives try to please them sexually.

The problem is not with you but with him.

Should you worry about it?

No.

Should you let him do what he wants?

No.

Should you be concerned?

Yes.

Worrying about it can lead to nagging which will only serve to compound the situation. But you should be concerned about his bad habit and try to help him.

See this as one of the challenges in your love relationship. It is a hurdle you must cross to enjoy a stress-free love life.

Why should you be concerned? Why should you not let him do just anything he wants? Why should you rebuke him for viewing pornographic images? The Simple reason is . . . pornography eventually causes problems for a love relationship. How? It causes problems in at least three ways.

1. It awakens in your man desires and fantasies that he may seek to fulfill in real life. And those fantasies may not be practical. If he can't get you to experiment those orgies with him, he may seek it elsewhere.

2. Pornographic models are real people with real addresses. People who meet online can arrange to meet offline to continue the relationship.

3. Pornography promotes lose living. It teaches its devotees to hold, kiss, and engage in sex with whomever they meet. No caution, no sense of commitment. Sooner or later devotees of pornography display some level of loose conduct.

So, should you be concerned?

Of course, yes.

However, you can't help him by engaging him in a quarrel, screaming at the top of your voice, or nagging. Subtle means such as appealing to his sense of reason seems to help.

Remember that pornography is an addiction and it takes time to get over it. And even after the addict has broken free, there's always the temptation to go back because pornography is everywhere and is extremely cheap.

So, what should you do now?

1. Be calm

2. Talk to him about it openly. Ask him why he likes it and tell him why you think it's wrong

3. Search the net and a good library for information on the impact of pornography on love relationship and marriage

4. Get hold of a resource (say, a book or web site) that relates real life stories of how families suffer when the man gets involved with pornography. Share these stories and books with him.

5. Then reason with him. Ask him what he wants for your love relationship. Help him see that viewing nude pictures won't help your love relationship.

6. Talk to an expert specializing in cases of pornography addiction. He will teach you how to help your man win the battle against pornography

Do what you can to help your man because pornography can be deadly. It has led some men to commit serious sex crimes with grave consequences.

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