I don't really know what I want

by Bel
(USA)

My boyfriend works away ALOT he is on the mines.

I love him dearly and he is great to me and my family. The first love of my life keeps entering into my life and admittedly i keep letting him. We never properly ended.

I'm ok when i'm with my boyfriend but he doesn't call when he says he will and he doesn't reply to my msgs. (probably messiness aside his only flaw)

I just feel a little alone. Am I being a touch dramatic or am I allowed to be lonely? WHAT can i do to stop the loneliness instead of letting the ex boyfriend call me and txt me.