I Have A Crush On
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I think I have a crush on a best friend of mine, a guy. He has a girlfriend - and has for several years. I've heard that two people of different genders can never have a completely platonic relationship. Is that true? Should I just give up? He's such a sweet guy and that's why we're friends. I love him, but not in a relationship kind of way - even though I wish it was a relationship. |
I want to see him happy even if it isn't with me.
When he and his girlfriend came close to breaking up, he was in tears. And he called me. Every time he has a problem, or wants to talk about something, he calls me. We're such great friends, but I want us to be more.
Am I being ridiculous? Should I just be happy with what I have? Do I just want love and a relationship in general?
My Reply
Your best male friend already has a girlfriend. Obviously, he loves her very much because he was in tears when they almost broke up.
You say you love him but not in a relationship kind of way. Then again you say you have a crush on him and you wish you were more than just friends. (Quote: "We're such great friends, but I want us to be more.")
There's a conflict here.
It appears as if you like to say you're "just friends" but deep down you want more . . . you want a love relationship.
Can two people of opposite sex stay just friends? Yes.
Are you being ridiculous for wanting more than friendship? No.
We all need love and companionship. Sooner or later everyone falls in love. When your senses come of age, you will whether you like it or not.
So, you're not ridiculous for wanting something more.
However, he already has a girlfriend he loves. And he confides in you. He confided in you even when there was a threat of collapse of his love relationship.
This means he trusts you and values your friendship. However, it appears as if he wants just friendship from you not a love relationship. That explains why he has not gone sentimental or personal on you. It also explains why there is no sexual tension between you. Bottom line. |
You want more than friendship from him. He wants just friendship (there's no evidence that he wants more than friendship from you).
What should you do?
Keep your distance and maintain the friendship. Keep a safe distance so his girlfriend does not get jealous and scheme something weird against you.
If for some reason your friend's relationship with his girlfriend does not work out, you can indicate your interest in a love relationship in subtle ways.
However, do not spend your youthful years waiting and praying for your best friend's love relationship to fail.
You need someone to love you. The signs are obvious.
If it can't be your best friend, find love in the arms of a new friend.
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