I have been married 34 years and raised 5 children but unhappy

by Janet Marasco
(Port St Lucie Fl USA)

When I was 16 I met my future husband. At the time I was blown away with the attention he showed me. After 4 years we got engaged and everything was fine until I heard at work through a good friend that this other man was crazy about me and it was sad because I was engaged.

We had a company party and every one had a lot to drink, I had a fight with my future husband and threw the ring at him and told him I didnt want to be engaged any longer.

I went over to talk with the man who was now becoming interesting. I asked him for a drink when he started to give me one my future husband came over and hit him. After that I really fell for this guy, but he had a girl he was dating and he was doubting that I broke off the engagement.

To make a long story short, I told my parents that I didn't want to get married and they started complaining about the costs of cancelling the wedding.

I went out with this new guy twice and he just asked me if i was afraid of my future husband. I said No at the time, but I think I was. I got married and have been unhappy ever since.

Is it because I still yearn for this other guy or because my marriage is in trouble. I have been married 34 years.?? My parents were old fashion.

Should I leave him now?? Is there anything I could have done at age 20 that would let the other guy know I wanted to be with him?

This was late 50's before things had changed.