i think my boyfriend is going to pop the question but im only 18!

by Mirella
(newark)

My boyfriend and I have known each other since we were kids and have been dating the past two years.

I am in love with him and he says he is in love with me. i believe him.

dont get me wrong - he is a truely honest man and he has a great future ahead of him. I have an internship with the radio city rockettes and thats what id like to do for a living - and he is a mechanic and he is planning on moving to vermont in about 15 months.

He asked if I would move up there with him and i told him that moving up there just as roomies is stupid and its way too far away if we are just dating - what if something happens blah blah blah u get the idea. (and im not the type to move in with a boyfriend - too many issues and quite frankly- its degrading if u ask me)

He said "oh trust me you wont have to worry about that much longer"

I asked him what he meant and he said I would figure it out soon enough.

Now - I am 18, he is 19.

i know he is the romantic type and he is a good old cowboy type trying to be romeo and sweep me off my feet, but i dont want him jumping in with both feet without thinking first.

i am just worried that since he and i have known each other for so long that he is just assuming that this is okay. and i have told him that he needs to slow down a bit and think before he acts - he said he knows what he is doing.

I just want him to make the right choices for him even if it means not being with me - i want him happy - if i am what makes him happy then fine - lets go to vermont - but we are still very young.

i dont want to be with him for one year and get divorced the next and be left all heartbroken.

my sister did that and she still regrets it to this day - it tore her apart.

I dont really know what to do - i would really like some advice. i love him - and i dont want to lose him

thanks
~"Dancer"

Reply By Samson, True Love Advisor

You are 18 and he is 19. You already have a relationship. And it looks like it's getting serious.

You seem to understand that being married is serious business. After the initial euphoria and excite, you have to deal with real issues like employment, family income, kids, communication issues, difference of opinion etc

It takes maturity to be with a guy all day long and all his life. Seeing the same guy everyday and seeing how disappointingly he handles issues can break your heart.

Being together with a guy as married couples or otherwise is a serious responsibility. Starting out on this kind of life at 18 is premature. If he were older, he would make up for your youthful exulberance (it happens when you're young). But now he is just 19.

My advice?

It's not wise to commit to marriage with a 19yr old. Wait. Tell him to wait too. And moving in with him is demeaning, as you rightly observed. Your sister's case is a good example.