I'm Not Too Sure Where I Stand

by JN
(London)

I'll start with a small background story.

I've just broken up with my girlfriend after 3yrs and 3 months because i felt like i wasnt in love her.

I definitely still care about her and her well being and want her to be happy. I didnt want to lose her as a friend so i've called her trying to maintain the friendship.

I call her regularly and conversation is fine between us but yesturday i called her and she expressed the pain i caused (not in spite) and i truly felt upset.

When we were together i was caring and did the typical gentlemen things (eg. take her home, pay for mojarity of things, etc). i wasnt perfect but i wasnt a bad boyfriend.

She was very patient, took care of me when she could and generally a great person.

She can be immature in the sense she seems unable to take care of herself and at times can be extremely unquenchably spoilt.

Sometimes its cute but mostly worrying. when we argue all i get is a silence treatment because she doesnt like dealing with conflict.

with all that said and done i remain confused to whether i've made the right decision to breakup for the reason that 'i felt i didnt love her', even though i'm uncertain to what being in love is.

The definition of love varies from site to site and i know it should be a feeling that a person feels but pinpointing the feeling is very difficult.

I just dont know whether i'm in love with her or whether i'm just feeling guilty for breaking up with her.

I'm in a really bad state of over-thinking so i wanted to get feedback off an outside source instead of a friend who claims to understand what i'm going through.

Thanks for your time