I'm scared to let people get close to me, even my boyfriend

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I'm scared to let people get close to me, even my boyfriend

My boyfriend and I have known each other for several years.

In all that time, he has always been kind and considerate and has never done or said anything that would hurt me. This is the first serious relationship either of us has had and we have a lot in common and enjoy spending time together.

But I'm scared to get emotionally close to him or to trust him. I've never found it easy to trust anyone, but I'd thought I could find it in me to trust him after all this time.

Now I'm worried I'm going to hurt his feelings because of my tendency to chase people away when they start getting close to me.

what's wrong with me? why can't I trust him? and what should I do?

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I'm scared to let people get close to me, even my boyfriend

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Sep 19, 2007
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Why Are You Scared? Why can't You Trust Him?
by: Samson Itoje

Usually people get scared of trusting someone of the opposite sex if they have been hurt in a previous love relationship.

In your case, you say this is your first real relationship. So, your heart have not been broken before.

Could it be that you know someone who has been emotionally wrecked because of a failed love relationship?

Fear comes from past experiences - childhood experiences and adult experiences.

Whatever the reason for your fear, you're simply scared of having a serious love relationship.

If this is deep rooted fear, an emotionally crippling phobia, you should see a phobia expert.

If it's because you have cold feet or worry that the relationship may not be perfect, be assured that no love relationship is ever perfect.

Since you've known him for several years, you already know he is far from perfect. He is made of blood and flesh. He has imperfections like everyone else.

Since you already know him pretty well, and you're comfortable with him and all he represents, then feed your fear with proof. Proof that he is a rare find. And that this love relationship really will work out for good.

Another thing.

Share your fears with him. His perspective, his encouragement, and his positives could allay your fear and make you more receptive to the idea of a love relationship between you two.

If he knows how you feel, he will be better equipped to help you rule your fear . . . and fall in love.

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