My Colleagues Attitude Is Confusing. Is She Interested In Me?

At work, I have come across a woman who I don’t know whether she is interested in me or not.

I am 22 years old and the she is older than me. To be honest, I don’t know her exact age.

It all probably began before I started my job. I was an external applicant while she was an internal applicant. I succeeded in landing the job.

Now at the workplace, we are in two separate offices. The offices are quite open and have around 10 members of staff in each.

Her office is behind mine. My office is in the middle and leads the way to other parts of the building.

In my office, my seating position has it so that my back is facing the doors that she enters when she is coming from her office and entering into mine. And when she leaves for other parts of the building and walking on the way back then it is the opposite to the above.

She also goes to the kitchen which is directly to the right of my seating position. Because the woman passes through every day, that is how we encounter each other.

At first, she seemed really interested I believe. I may be wrong. My first hint of her interest came when she asked a colleague of mine if I was married after I brought in cakes to work for no special reason. Normally cakes are brought to work by the person whose birthday it is.

Afterwards she would cast a few glances especially when coming back from other parts of the building. I would look back. So over time, whenever we would past each other we would look at each other and sometimes smile too.

This would go on for another four months where every day we would cast a glance towards each other. It was all quite secretive. No one else in the office knew about this as far as I am aware.

Then all of a sudden and out of the blue, she stopped looking and seemed as though she lost all interest. What happened I do not know. I did not do anything to hurt her by way of speech or actions.

She would not even cast over a glance at all whether she was coming into my office or leaving the kitchen. I was just so confused. As a result it got quite awkward between the two of us.

Eight weeks later she asked for something work wise. Looking back to that request, she did not seem to know what she was asking for and so at the time I thought it was just to remove the awkward feeling between the two of us. But then I began to think she was interested and here’s why:

• Every day from then on we would have eye contact with each other
• Whenever she comes into my office from her own, I have noticed her looking towards me.
• When she would leave the kitchen, I would turn my face to her and she would smile and I would smile back. This only happened occasionally.
• When I am in my office alone, she would talk to me
• Once we had not looked at each other all day. When it came to home time I was close to the exit door. I was talking to another member of staff. She was walking with a colleague of hers but behind another set of doors which has a window.

She noticed that I was about to go and leave. Whether she slightly rushed to open the door and see me I am not too sure but we gave eye contact again.
• Once I entered her office and asked where someone was. The question was not directed towards her only but the whole office. Then again we gave extensive eye contact to each other.

Above are just a few incidents of the many times we have had eye contact with each other and smiled at each other too.

It was her birthday a couple of weeks back. I did not sign her birthday card.

When coming into my office from her own, I noticed she was looking towards me when I turned around. Then she left for another part of the building.

On the way back and after coming through the door, she immediately looked at me to see if I would look back and I did and again we smiled at each other. The way she looked towards me and how quickly she looked made it quite obvious to me that she was alarmed that I had not signed her card. And she had never looked towards me that quick before.

I later explained to her that I do not celebrate birthdays. She did not seem to have any issues with that.

Then recently she took what I perceive as her interest to a new level. When coming from the other parts of the building and entering into the office I am in she looked over to me almost every time totalling up to five times. Prior to that she would only look twice at the most.

Then the next working day, she was leaving the kitchen. I turned my face to see her. She stopped, looked back and smiled. Before, she had never stopped when leaving the kitchen to look over to me. Then the next working day, she had entered into my office. I turned and saw her.

On noticing that I was looking she immediately looked towards me and smiled. That was different compared to the other glances she had given as she knew I was looking and decided to look at me straight away.

Now this is where my confusion starts.

Just the very next day, the very next day, to her it seemed what happened the previous three days did not occur. She would not look over whether she was walking back in to my office after having left or whether she had just come from the kitchen.

She just simply would not look over at all. On that day, I went to see one of her colleagues who sits directly behind her. While I was talking to the colleague, she did look back towards me and I looked at her and she quickly looked away but the whole day was unusual compared to the previous three days.

The next day was pretty much the same. On that day I noticed that when she entered in to my office coming from hers she would look over to me but when I had my back turned towards her. When I turned and saw her, she quickly looked away. And on this day there was no eye contact between us at all.

The next working day, she was walking with a colleague of hers. After she had walked past and was behind me I was still looking at her as I followed her with my eyes. She looked back too and looked at me.

Previously, she would have look well before having walked past. Later that day, she went to the kitchen with her colleague.

On coming out, her colleague offered fruits to everyone in our office. All the while, I was staring at her as she waited for her colleague and she eventually looked. She did not then look away quickly though.

I thought by then I had freaked her out by staring at her. But she seemed okay with it considering the next working day she gave eye contact.

So currently, she will only look as soon as she enters from her own office and into mine where my back is towards hers. If I turn and see her, she will quickly look away if she is looking at me.

When entering into my office after having left for other parts of the building she no longer looks over to me. When she leaves the kitchen she still does not look over to me but probably positions her sight so that she can see if I look towards her or not.

It is getting worse and worse and it appears to be heading to the stage where she won't be looking over to me at all.

Still, the relationship (if it is a relationship) is quite secretive and so asking a friend of hers is not quite an option. The furthest it has gone between us two is talking to each other smiling and eye contact at the same time. We have not expressed our feelings and I am reluctant to do so because I would not want things to be awkward again.

So my questions are please:
• Was/Is she interested or not?
• Do you know why she is behaving completely different now?

Thank you very much for your help.

Reply By Samson, True Love Advisor

Looks like she may be interested in you. But it also seems you are interested in her because you seem to notice every monve she makes.

There is nothin wrong with someone not wanting to speak to you once in awhile. If it really disturbs you, then ask her why she is acting funny.

I will advise that you be careful about starting an office relationship. Office relationships often gets complicated.