my husband cheated on me with a coworker

by dawn
(ohio)

My husband cheated on me 5ys ago with a co-worker and it lasted about 1-2months. We have been married 17yrs.

I had my suspicions but in the back of my mind I always thought "he would never do that to me". But the truth finally came out.

He said it was a dumb mistake, saw what he was doing to his family and knew that he always loved me and wanted to work on it. So we have and it has been very hard.

I, in turn, wanted him to feel the way I did so I had an affair also. Never thought about another man before and never thought I would do something like that but I did.

I do well some days and other times it is very hard to deal with. I am very depressed alot, always wondering why, what I did wrong and if he really does want to be with me and why.

Sex sometimes is very, very hard, I cant perform and I could care a less, unless I can block everything out of my mind. I feel like I am going crazy. Is this worth it or should I move on now?

I know love and marriage is work but is it really worth suffering the rest of my life wondering why, what and what he did with her and what was said?

I really doubt if counseling would work, because all he would say is the same thing he tells me is I dont know why I did it, I was just stupid.

But 2 months of mistakes and buying her presents and spending time with her children doesnt make it feel like a one time mistake. That was a serious thought about that someone.