My Husband Is Sexually Boring. He Is In Danger of Losing Me!

I have somewhat of a complicated question/dilemma.

I actually have been married a whopping 26 years! Isn't that great?

Recently I have discovered I am missing a big portion of my happiness in my marriage. My husband is a good man (mind you) and I do actually love him, but I have some huge issues going on at 51 years of age.

I consider myself very nice looking and my husband has begun to act like an 80 year old man!!!

He doesn't want to do anything with me (wants to stay home all the time and he is also becoming very sexually boring!!

I have recently found a great job (I love) and it's wonderful. I have found a wonderful transformation going on in my life. Men pay a lot of attention to me at work!

I love it and in fact I have found men literally getting jealous and sort of fighting over me ( and I am a married women).

My problem is I actually love the attention!!

My husband ignores me so much and I crave all this attention I am getting. I do love him but how to I get it across it to him that he is in big danger of losing me because of his apathetic behavior concerning our sexual relationship?

Frustrated

My Reply

Hi.

26 years of marriage is a lot to throw away. And since your husband is a good man, as you said, you need to be careful how you handle this.

Let's take a second look at all the attention that you're getting at work.

Men are usually attracted to women. If the woman is beautiful and intelligent, the attraction is stronger.

It's completely natural for men to fuss over you. It's natural for them to crave your attention. It's also natural for you to crave more male attention . . . much more attention than your husband is giving you.

Getting all that attention makes you feel like you're still priceless. It helps your self esteem and inspires in you a sense of worth.

Some of the men who are giving you attention and scrambling to be at your side would eventually ask you out.

If you accept, it may grow into a casual relationship. But as you spend more time together, it may grow into a serious relationship.

You will begin to compare him with your husband. Remember he's the one seeking you out. He's the one desirous of your attention and affection. So, naturally, he will shower you with praises. He will give you gifts. Soon he will seek sexual favors.

At first you may not consent. Your conscience is still strong. But as the relationship gets deeper and deeper, you may eventually consent to a kiss. After several rounds of kissing, you may consent to sex.

Initially, you will feel guilty about this. But if he's very strong in bed and your husband continues his apathy towards sex, you may feel justified. You may feel your husband deserves what he gets.

Another thing.

It will happen again. Thinking about that exhilarating sexual encounter would tempt you to do it again. And again. And again.

Soon your conscience will become numb. Your husband and marriage will become less and less important. And you'll want a divorce.

These thinks happen slowly. But they eventually happen to women who think the way you're currently thinking.

History repeats itself. Man keeps re-writing history. If you skip out of your 26 year marriage because you're not getting enough attention and enough sex, you won't be the first to do this.

Your action may or may not profit you. You may lose what is of most importance to you in the long run.

Before you take any drastic action, let's view things in their proper perspective.

Let's take a look at the men scrambling for your attention.

Are some of them married? If so, how much good are they to their wives?

Men are generally good and sweet to women outside possibly because they want to be in their good books and get something from her.

On the other hand, many of those same men are hash and inconsiderate to their own wives.

They're sweet to you now because they seek what you have. Once they've got it, they may not be that sweet. If you doubt what I say, ask their wives.

I know many men like that. They give their wives peanuts to take care of family expenses.

When the wife complain about how little the money is, they tell her to make do with it. Some even rain a barrage of insults on the wife for daring to complain about the money given.

The very next hour, you'll see those same men with their younger mistresses in relaxation spots spending huge amounts of money to please them and win their favor.

Painful, right?

Good men are hard to find. You're lucky to have a good husband. If the problem is his apathy and lack of interest in sex, it's possible to straighten that out. Work at it.

What should you do?

First, don't throw your marriage away. The devil you know is better than the angel you don't know. Well, that's what people say. And believe me, it's true.

Work at improving the rapport between you and your husband.

By the way, why is he apathetic?

Is he having problems at work? Is he sick and tired of something? Is it something you're doing that is turning him off? At what point exactly did he become apathetic? Did something happen to him?

You know your husband much more than any person does. Identifying the root cause of the problem is the first step to getting a lasting solution.

26 years is a lot of investment. I think you should share your fears and concerns with your husband. Talk to him heart to heart.

You just might be able to solve this problem and forestall the devil ruining your 26 years of relationship building.

About sex.

Perhaps you should change the way you dress at home. Wear what those young girls wear that force men to stir. Wear them at home and force your husband to look, touch, and . . .

Also change the way you talk. Can you be a lot sweeter?

Tease your husband with words.

Is he wearing a younger look? Compliment him.

Talk romance.

Sweet talk him into leaving his cranky self for once and giving you a massage.

Give a reason. You're having back ache from sitting for too long in the office. Could he please give you a manly massage?

When he does, compliment him. Get curious. He has the touch of a professional. Where did he learn that skill?

A man reported that one day he came home from work exhausted. When his wife opened the door, he stood rooted . . . breathless. Before he knew what was happening, they were in bed making love.

Is there something you can do in that direction? Think about it.

Final thoughts.

Men will always admire you. Some of those men are so wayward that they don't care that you're married or not. They want to take you to bed irrespective of your marital status.

But tell them their wives have had an affair and they'll be as mad as hell.

Be wise. Do not fall for cheap popularity. Do not succumb to the flirting actions of irresponsible men.

Flirting will ruin your marriage. If you act on the attention you're getting from these men in your office, you will end up with infidelity. And infidelity will disrupt the peace of your family. If you have kids, you may lose them.

Bottom line.

Your life will be more complicated.

Please read this article.

My advice?

Work with your husband to resolve this situation. Like you said, he's a good man. He will listen. And you both will be happier.

Best wishes,

Samson