She Moved To Another State. But She Promised To Come Back After 5 years.

Me and my girlfriend are very successful in love. But in 2006 something horrible happened. She had to move to another state.

We've been almost 15 months together and she moved 50 days ago. We still do keep in touch. I don't just need advice but also counseling. She promised to come back, the most in 5 years. I'm just afraid of anything might happen, you know. So far everything is fine, but 5 years is a lot and I fear that her heart changes.

I'm a person with little confidence. I really try to relax and believe that nothing bad will happen. But I can't. What do you recommend me?

My Reply

Hi.

I understand your plight. Staying apart for as long as five years is certainly risky. Anything can happen in-between.

What should you do?

Only you can decide that. It's your responsibility. It's your decision. And once you've made a decision, you will have to live with the consequences.

But let's analyze the situation so you can make an informed choice.

You said your girlfriend moved to another state. Why did she move? Is she in school? Did she move so she can be in school?

Does she live with her parents? Did she move because her parents moved? Did she move because things weren't working for her in NY?

It's important to understand why she moved. This will help you understand her mindset and the potentials for your relationship.

What should you do now?

That depends on how far you want the relationship to go. Do you want her to just remain your girlfriend? Do you want to marry her? Have you proposed? Girls want commitment. And the height of commitment is marriage proposal.

If you're hesitant to propose, she will wait for you to come around. But she can't wait forever. So, ultimately, you have to propose or risk losing her to a smarter guy.

Bottom line.

What you do now depends on what you want for the relationship.

Whatever the case, discuss the situation with her. Show how much you care by taking a trip to see her (get her consent first).

Spend a day or an entire weekend with her.

If you want to take the relationship to the next level and you want her to take you seriously, propose.

I wish you the best.

Samson Itoje

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