Should I End Or Continue In My Current Relationship?

by Karen
(LA, USA)

I've been in a relationship for almost three years now and have known him for 20+ years. (Kinda, but not really, a high school sweetheart - but from a distance.)

We are both divorced and both have our children full-time. The only arguments we have had is due to our different parenting ways. We have worked hard to overcome these and have made real progress.

Due to an Act of God, we lived together for about nine months while I was building my home. We have lived apart now for two years.

The issue is that I am ready to move forward with our relationship, i.e., I'm ready to get married. Although he has talked about marriage in the past, I feel as though he is content with the status quo. I'm not.

We are both totally in love with one another and I want the full package.

I want to tell him that if we are not going to get married, then I need to move on.

However, I feel as though sayng this will be construed as an ultimatum. I don't want what I say to be taken as an ultimatum.

In the past, when we talked about marriage, he told me to be patient and allow him to move at his own pace.

I can't help but to feel that after three years he should know whether or not he wants to be with me in the husband and wife role.

I know if our relationship ends, I will be truly heartbroken. I also know I am misreable living our separate lives. I'm at a loss as to what to do here and what I should say to him.

HELP ME!