Submissive husband - That is not a term you hear often. This is because submission is associated with the women folk and not the men folk.
Well, it's a long story. But to get straight to the point . . . the bible says a woman should be submissive to her husband. It goes further to say she should have deep respect for her husband.
Hence, according to the bible, we should speak of a submissive wife not the other way round. But when husband humiliation reaches its peak, a punished husband becomes a submissive husband.
The reason is simple.
The bible refers to the man, the husband, as the head of the family. Hence, it says the wife should respect the authority of her husband.
Actually, there is.
Suppose you have two ship captains and both have equal authority. None is the boss of the other. When there is a crisis in the ship, who calls the shots? Who has the final say?
There will be confusion if the ship has two leaders, two captains, with different opinions and none is the boss of the other.
Therefore, to avoid confusion, when there are two captains . . . or more correctly . . . when there are two high ranking ship personnel . . .The second high ranking official is called the assistant captain. He reports to the ship captain
The same leadership pattern is evident in corporations.
The CEO is the overall boss. The board of directors report to the CEO. Remember that they are all directors of the business. But the managing director or CEO is the boss. He has the final say. And the other directors just must listen.
The same applies in the home.
The husband is the head of his wife. He is the leader of the home. The final decision on matters rests on him. If the family fails, he's wholly accountant.
Does this mean that the husband should be bossy? Does the requirement for the wife to be submissive mean she's to be treated as second class citizen? Is she less human? Is she the husband's slave?
Should the man become a tyrant? Should he rub his leadership status in her face?
The answer to all of the above is no.
Marriage is a partnership between a man and a woman. Leadership is essential because wherever leadership is missing there is chaos.
Driving your husband to the point where he loses his manliness and becomes a submissive husband amounts to subverting his authority.
Husband punishment and husband humiliation is something many women fantasize about. They wish power would change hands and they become the leader for once.
If only my husband could become a submissive husband!
Dreaming that and fantasizing about it all day isn't such a bright idea.
To tell the truth, husband punishment and husband humiliation disrupts the peace and happiness of both the husband and the wife.
Well, the husband was created to lead. It's in his genes. A punished husband, a husband pushed to the point of becoming a submissive husband, certainly feels less than a man. He is subdued and unhappy. He is unfulfilled.
A woman was created as a helper to the man . . . a compliment. When she snatches the mantle of leadership and takes the place of her husband, she's only temporarily happy.
A woman needs a real man. A re-assuring shoulder to lean on. A manly man.
When a wife takes control and makes her husband subservient to her, she loses faith in him. She finds it difficult to respect him. More often than not, she begins to treat him with disdain.
Dear wives, you do not need to have a submissive husband to be happily married. What you need is a loving and understanding husband. A husband who puts your needs above his because he loves you not because he is a punished husband.
Husband humiliation won't help you or your husband. Husband punishment is an assault on the headship arrangement instituted by God.
Yes, there are hard-hearted and domineering husbands.
There are also overly-demanding and ruthless bosses and CEOs. Would you nominate a non-management staff as CEO simply because the current CEO is heartless?
Obviously, you won't.
Apply this to your family and your husband's position as head, the leader.
Do not usurp his authority and make him a figurehead, a submissive husband. Instead help him improve his leadership style.
Communicate with your husband. Find a way to reach his heart. You will both benefit if he becomes a better leader.
Do not listen to the blinding noise out there. Husband punishment isn't your lot. Husband humiliation isn't for you.
Love your husband. Support him. Respect him. He will learn to respect you too. Oh, what joy when you finally win your tough-hearted husband over!
It's worth praying for. It's worth working for. It's a win-win deal.
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