The Ex Factor

by DM
(USA)

I have been dating someone for almost 3 months now. We have both said that we don't want to see other people, but we have not discussed if we are officially "boyfriend/girlfriend".

When we are together, things are really fun, we get along great and share a lot of the same interests and can hang out with each other's friends.

I see him as long term material, although we are taking things slowly now to make sure it is right. Overall, things are going well, but here is the issue.

He has an ex girlfriend who he was with for about 4 years (nearly all of undergraduate college), they lived together for one year after graduating, and broke up less than a year ago.

The reason that they broke up is that he moved out here for grad school and she stayed there for grad school, so basically just because of the distance.

They did the long distance thing for a year or so before breaking it off. They still talk regularly and are friends.

I am fine with the fact that they talk and keep in touch. The issue that has come up is that when he is at my house, he will get online on my computer and chat with her.

He does it while he thinks that I am doing other things (taking a shower, in the kitchen, etc) but I catch it and see it, although he tries to close the internet windows before I see it.

I haven't talked to him about her, and don't really want to know about her or their relationship. Like i said, i know they spent a significant amount of time together and am OK with them being friends and keeping in touch.

I just do not like that he is doing that in my house. However, I feel like it may be too soon for me to talk to him about it, as I don't know what will happen with us since we haven't been seeing each other too long.

It is just frustrating, because it makes me feel that he is thinking of her while he is with me when he does that.

I hate feeling jealous, but this is really getting to me.

It makes me wonder if he really just wishes that he was with her.

Should I be feeling this way and how should I handle this?