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Unresponsive Girl

by Sugam
(India)

Well, I stumbled upon your site through one of the search engines. Went through it and must say that you're doing excellent work.

Thought I might as well share my problem with you and the forums here and see if there could be a solution available.

I am studying at a medical school and shall be graduating as a doctor in about 6 months from now.

We have been here for the last 4 years and I gradually developed a liking for a girl in my class and this happened about 3 years back.

She is an Indian girl, a bit reserved, when it comes to talking to boys. Otherwise, she is good natured and jovial most of the time.

Now, my first mistake was that I ended up sharing my feelings for her with a friend from where it travelled through people and she heard of it and completely stopped talking to me.

Earlier, we just used to greet each other and that's it. But after she heard of this, she even stopped this.

Anyways, I didn't do anything about it then.
Tried talking to her once, but she always tries to avoid me or if she doesn't have an option, replies very dry, I mean, just replies in a yes or no.

About one year back, I wrote her an Email conveying my feelings. But She never responded.
Tried calling her up a month back to directly speak to her but she replied that she's not free and hung up.

Yes, she's in my class but I don't want to hold her up there and speak to her because it can create a scene and also, she might feel uncomfortable in my presence henceforth.

Now that there are only 6 months left for both of us to leave med school, I fear that I might lose her forever.

Moreover, I'm sure that I am not infatuated. It seems to be true love. Never fantasized about her. If asked what would I do if I get her. My answer would be that I just want to kiss her forehead and hold her in my arms. I'm ready to be selfless for her and perhaps that's why I've been waiting so long.

Please tell me what should I do?
Thanks a ton!

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Unresponsive Girl

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Another possibility...
by: Anonymous

She may already be in a relationship, or "promised" to someone else. Or maybe she does not find you attractive.

She says she is not free and hangs up on you. She tries to avoid you. The LAST thing she wants to do is try to encourage you.

It sounds more like you are obsessed than in love. There is a fine line and love is war, yes. but the fact she does not want to speak to you or encourage you in anyway should be enough hint to leave it be and find someone who WILL be in to you.

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The Woman You Love May Not Be Ready
by: Samson Itoje

There's a reason why she's not paying you any attention. It could be that . . .

1. She's not ready for a love relationship or

2. She's not keen on a love relationship with a boy in her class or

3. She's not keen on a love relationship with you because she knows certain things about you (or has heard certain things about you) that she finds unpalatable or

4. She has promised herself she won't enter into a love relationship while still in school

Whatever her reason for not returning your affection, you cannot win her love by pestering her or trying to impress her. You will only drive her away.

Just be patient. Be yourself.

Take some positive steps. For example, get her number. Send her a text message that you will like to speak with her one-on-one out of class.

If she doesn't respond, sms her your mobile number and home address. Then leave it at that.

Don't cross her in class. Just be yourself and do what you love to do best.

Over time, she may find that you are not what people say you are or that her views about you were wrong. Then she may have a re-think.

Remember . . . there's nothing as powerful as an idea whose time has come.

When her soul gets to that point where she connects with yours, she will find you. That's why you need to leave a forwarding address so she can find you when she's ready.

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