users and losers - what to do when you find your partner's behaviour questionable

by Tom Wilson
(Chesapeake, VA)

I dated a girl for three months.

After seeing her, I left to go work on some stuff at work, and I wanted kiss her (although I wanted more I had to get stuff done at work) so I did and she pushed me away.

No "hey, smile I'm not feeling all that great, I'm sorry," or "babe, I'm not in the mood, come'ere and give me a hug before you go."

I was pissed, but I got over it.

Then I came home and found out she thought it was no big deal to cuddle with other guys...and she spends more and more time with her first ex-husband, who I trusted until I saw how their interaction was... and I wasn't happy.

I told her that these things are not acceptable to me, and honestly anyone with morals and respect for their significant other would not feel it necessary to do those type of things.

I told her it was me or him, and to stop cuddling with other guys because its shady...

There are things you can do if you're not in a mogonamous relationship...that you don't do if you ARE.

I learned fast that to her, I was nothing but great sex and someone to go to dinner with.

So if you're reading this, no matter how much he/she seems great, TAKE YOUR TIME.

If they do things you find morally objectionable, if you feel torn between leaving the best you've ever had and being mad because of things you find they do are offensive and not right, just walk away...I actually was stupid enough to break up and get back together with her a total of 3 times over the same issues.

If they tell you their family/friends doesnt like you, then walk away.

Stay focused on work.

Buy your own house.

Get your college degree.

Lose/gain that weight you've been too busy or lazy or scared to worry about...

Quit smoking.

Try the tanning bed.

Go see old friends from college.

But remember...if you have to try so hard that it affects your work, etc., just walk away.

Eventually you will meet the right one.

And its not that you fall that makes you successful, its that you learn and get back up.