what is going on in his mind?

by Kayla
(Rochester, NY, U.S.)

I am pregnant with mine and my fiancee's first child. I love him and am very attracted to him but lately he is not as interested in sex as he used to be. i offer oral sex on a regular basis and he still says no.

i recently found a search on our computer for no strings attached sex and a search for women in our area looking for no strings attached sex.

i asked him about it and he said he searched it on accident while looking for music.

i'd like to think i'm a smart person but i just accepted the answer he gave and didnt press the issue. its hurting me and i just want some advice.

Reply By Samson Itoje, True Love Advisor

He is probably looking for sex outside of marriage or he is toying with the idea or he is curious.

It's difficult to tell what is in another person's mind. What people do is driven by circumstances at the time they took the action and lingering thoughts, fears, and doubts that existed prior to when the action was taken.

If you are 'heavily pregnant', he may not find the same excitement having sex with you as he had when you were not.

Is that an excuse to look at another woman?

Of course not!

Should you start a fight over this?

Definitely not.

Your man is probably experiencing a crisis of emotion. Managing pregnancy is not only difficult for the woman but also for the man at her side.

Draw closer to him and sooth him with words. Talk openly and ask him what it is that bothers or troubles him the most.

Honest and open conversation often resolve issues and help avert major disasters in a relationship.