Why does he keep coming back?

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Why does he keep coming back?

Why does this guy I like (fell in love with) but didn't respond receptively keeps coming back every few months, especially whenever I'm just about to get over him?

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Why does he keep coming back?

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Oct 02, 2010
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I'm in the same place
by: Anonymous

I know exactly what u are going through. I have been in love with the same guy for 11 years.
I hadn't seen him in three and a half years and one day he showed up at my door. It's like they have some sort of sick radar and they know exactly when to strike.
I agree that you need to be straight up with him. Ask
Him what the heck is going on. Otherwise u will get the short end.
Guys like the control and they love to feel wanted. U are allowing him back in and making him feel good about himself when he is feeling down. I know how hard it is to push them away because I have been trying to do it for years and have been unsuccessful because I love him so much I don't want him to go again.
So, as I plan to do the same thing...ask...what have u got to lose right? Because let's face it...he's gonna disappear again.

Feb 05, 2010
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why becouse he can
by: Anonymous

he used to use his absences as a punishment.he new i loved him and realy believed that i would just put up with it and be so glad and so gratefull when he came back.it backfired on him i got to like being without him enjoyed my freedom and space.the last time he put in an appearance i was seeing him for what he realy was and couldnt wait for him to leave so when i saw the warning signs of imminent departure i just let it happen no phone calls no desperate where are yous what have i done id finally smelled the coffee,the reason he kept coming back was becouse i let him. abuse and use me .never again NOW I APPRECIATE ME .

Jun 09, 2008
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rubber band
by: Anonymous

i've been that guy. i keep resolving that i'm over her, then get weak and contact her again (i seem to make it 6-9 months between contacts). Why do i do it? well, there are a number of reasons. first of all, out of genuine concern. she was not emotionally healthy when we got involved, and each time i would contact her it was to make sure she was ok. secondly, she sent me through such an emotional rollercoaster durring our involvement that i've honestly never felt as alive as i did when i was with her. She brought to me the happiest moments of my life, and i suffered the most torturous of anguish when i lost her. Who i am today is a direct result of the little time we shared.
ive been doing better though, havn't tried to contact her in a couple of years, (our involvement was 10 years ago) we've each gone through a failed marriages since then and after seeing what's available out here, i've given up. not just on her, but on all relationships. ok, the fact that i can't find a real person to compare with who i've made her into in my memory doesn't help, but after all this time i'm not the same person, and even although we've been out of touch for so long, i know she's not the same person either. time has a funny way of changing us, and i guess i just want to remember her in all her glory. i still think about her though, i just don't think that telling her so would do either of us any good.

Nov 09, 2007
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why does he keep coming back?
by: Anonymous

why dont you simply ask him what he wants.is he confused with his feelings for you(that is if he has one).i think you should be frank with him and let him decide on what he wants,nobody wants an indecisive partner in a relationship.

Oct 27, 2007
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because you "complete" him
by: Anonymous

guys roam, and they roam for a purpose...to feel good.

it makes them feel good, apprecitated, in control, when he sweeps a woman off her feet. But once that's happened, the excitement is no longer there...

You let him know that you were head over heels for him, and then he took off. My guess is you've been trying to get over this guy since he left or everytime he leaves you, and part of that meant staying low profile etc.

so to keep his inventory of worshipers, he's gotta make sure you're interest level never falls below a level where he's no longer meaningful in your life. To do that, he calls, he writes, or he sends SMS...or whatever medium that he knows will get your attention pretty damn quickly.

Judging from your question, it's safe to say he's succeeded again in getting your attention. Get off it! He's back to satisfy his craving for attention, not to satisfy your needs. Good on you for asking this questoin though, and here's my opinion...ignore this person. find someone else!!!

good luck!

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Why does he keep coming back?